he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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