I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
