I just saw a hot homeless man
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
