Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
