Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
