the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
