I must be too annoying 4 u.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
