I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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