im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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