It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize