"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
