Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
