I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize