We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
