every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
