Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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