if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
