She is in my trunk
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize