; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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