I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
