I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
