I need help removing her.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
