Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
