i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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