He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
