You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
