As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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