i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
