What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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