i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
