Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
