Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
