He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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