So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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