i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Randomize
