I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
