awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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