no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
