lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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