What a fucking waste of an outfit
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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