do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
