ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize