Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
