I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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