I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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