Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
