Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
