i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize