I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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