He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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