any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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