I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
