I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i think i just lost a toe
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
