it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
