dude i'm inner monologue high
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
