these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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