i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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