I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
God, I missed his penis.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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