i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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