Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
