the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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