yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
