Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
