I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
we should paint friendship bongs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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