you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
