People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
